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Selfie addiction drives teen-ager close to suicide: “It can happen to anyone.”~Danny Bowman

Think that selfie addiction is harmless? Think again.

Nineteen-year-old Danny Bowman took about 200 selfies of himself a day to capture the perfect shot. Thinking he was failing to look good enough to post online, he almost killed himself.

Bowman, a 19-year-old Englishman had been diagnosed with body dysmorphic disorder and obsessive compulsive disorder, reported the Mirror News.

“Danny’s case is particularly extreme,” said psychiatrist Dr. David Veale, whose clinic helped treat the teenager.

“But this is a serious problem. It’s not a vanity issue. It’s a mental health one which has an extremely high suicide rate.”

Just like crack, alcohol, porn, sex, food, selfie-taking combined with social media can make for a mind-distorting state.

In Bowman’s case, selfie-taking and social media-posting became the outlet for his obsessive compulsive behavior.

“With modern technology, it can actually be quite severe,” Bowman says in the video. “This kind of thing can happen to anyone.”

Have you ever caught yourself in the grip of any behavior that makes you feel addicted to something: pot, alcohol, porn, sex, food, selfies? How does it feel? Do you feel the almost uncontrollable desire?

Try riding out that feeling of being “driven” to satisfy the craving. Instead of acting to trigger the addiction (i.e. taking a selfie, walking to the fridge, going online, the liquor store, the pot dealer, buying cigarettes), just sit still and breathe for about five minutes, and focus on breath. This method can allow compulsion to subside.

Mindfulness meditation is just one of many tools to get over an addiction. Consult a professional.

More coverage on Bowman:

More on addictive behavior:
“To know yourself is to forget yourself, and he didn’t mean take another selfie.”

7 ways to know if your Facebook friend is a real friend

images These days, everyone’s a “friend.” Meet me on tinder, okcupid, grindr, craigslist then add me on facebook, twitter, instagram, snapchat, and we’re friends? Yeah! Never met them except online? Friends. Talked on Facetime? Friends. Hooking up? Friends. Just for sex? Friends. Following them on Twitter? Friends.

Marketing and a culture of ambivalence have twisted the word “friend” beyond recognition. No wonder most of these pseudo- quasi- “friendships” can leave you empty, sad and feeling even more alone than ever.

If you’re hard-pressed to define what a friend really is, here’s a handy guide straight from the Buddha. Italicized texts are from Buddha, followed by commentary that’s strictly the antiselfie’s only.

A friend endowed with seven qualities is worth associating with. Which seven?

1. He gives what is hard to give. One of the toughest things to give people these days is time. Does the other person carve out time for you just so you can be in each other’s company (not just for sex, or to vent their latest problem)? Do they actually make plans with you, or just seem to conveniently call and ask you to come over late at night, when the mood strikes (hint: booty call) or only when they need your help?

2.She does what is hard to do. So you hang out and have fun and get drinks. Great. Anyone can do that. How about for the time you need to be told (kindly) that you’re making a mess of your life, while he helps clean up the mess?

3. He endures what is hard to endure. You’re talking about the same issue over and over again. Yup, your real friend is still listening.

4. She reveals her secrets to you.  And the secret is really scary dark.

5. He keeps your secrets. Or is telling this person a secret kind of like posting a video on youtube and it went viral?

6. When misfortunes strike, she doesn’t abandon you. Is your friend still there when you’re broke/jobless? And out to help you in some way?

7. When you’re down & out, he doesn’t look down on you. Does your friend make fun of you, talk about you behind your back, or hold you up as a pitiful thing (sort of to make herself look better)? Or does she help you keep your dignity intact in tough times?

A friend endowed with these seven qualities is worth associating with.

Notice this sentence. It means some people are NOT worth associating with.

Another gem from Buddha:

If a traveler does not meet with one who is better or equal, let one firmly travel alone; there is no companionship with a fool.

The antiselfie’s take: No friend is better than a bad friend. Plus, you deserve better, or at least, equal.

The Buddha isn’t telling you to turn the unworthy into your enemies.

He’s just telling you to wisely keep yourself protected from the not-so-great friends, know that they’re not the best company, and to keep them on a need-to-know basis. Be selective!

Sadly, fake friends are really not good for you, either because they are bad for your mental and emotional health, or they drag you down, or both.

Can you tell which of your friends are the real thing? Have you ever needed to dissociate from certain friends because they were toxic? Try surrounding yourself with good, authentic people. Compare and contrast the feelings you have around true friends and not-so-true friends. With whom are you at ease?

– See more at: http://ultraculture.org/blog/2014/01/07/7-qualities-look-friend-according-buddha/#sthash.UJwnq2Ka.dpuf

“No matter where you come from or how much money your family has…you can succeed in college.” ~ First Lady Michelle Obama


This is a selfie, seen on Twitter, that comes with a good purpose. Inspiring others through words and/or pictures online is a good thing.

First Lady Michelle Obama has, no doubt, great selfie-taking experience, as a mom to two young ladies, who, more likely than not, she is preparing for college.

The antiselfie is noting a trend among millennial postings online today: there seems to be a big hopeless feeling about getting a college education.

More and more, we see millennial-targeted articles like “Why college is a waste of time,” “Why what you learn at college won’t be needed in the real world,” which appear to be written by a bunch of unhappy college graduates (or dropouts) unable to find the best-ever job in the entire universe.

For some reason, a lot of twentysomethings believe that they’re automatically entitled to the very, very best, right away, all the time.

That’s probably a false belief. But so is talking about education as an unnecessary thing.

Mrs. Obama’s message is a great reminder on the value of higher education. It’s also a great way to use social media.

Have you posted a selfie/status update/meme lately that encourages self-improvement?

Daily Gratitude on Facebook Changes Life: “It forced me to look on the bright side of life, even on crappy days.” ~ Lynne Scrivens


The antiselfie is enamored of this woman’s story. It shows the power of gratitude and social media.

Lynne Scrivens, an Australian TV news producer, embarked on a daily gratitude post on Facebook, after seeing one of her friends doing it.

Instinctively, Scrivens knew being deliberately grateful every day would change her life.

“I knew the grateful project would help me get back on track. I just had a feeling.” Issues the 38-year-old wanted to tackle included drinking “too much, too often, alone,” having “dark, deep, depressing thoughts,” her “sparse” love life, and lack of exercise, she writes.

After a year of seeing and announcing at least one good thing in her life every single day on Facebook, Scrivens’ life did in fact change for the better.

She ended up chucking a job that was no longer fulfilling, and moved from Sydney to Melbourne, where she always wanted to live. Her struggle with alcohol brought her to a place of sobriety and healthy moderation. She started exercising and met a man who she eventually announced on Facebook was a “keeper.” Nice!

The antiselfie loves the fact that Scrivens was inspired by a Facebook friend to do this, and that she herself decided to copy that behavior and in turn, is inspiring others (the antiselfie included!) to follow in their footsteps and be grateful every day!

Shortly after reading about Scrivens, the antiselfie began posting and tweeting #grateful daily–and yes–has noticed changes!

In the few days of this daily dose of deliberate thankfulness online, the antiselfie started noticing that it was the recipient of more random unsolicited blessings, just small things–i.e., free meals from friends, random presents from people, people going out of their way to be nice and helpful to the antiselfie in various ways! Wow! And that’s just in less than a week!

Robert Emmons, a University of California, Davis psychology professor and gratitude expert and author (“Gratitude Works!”) tells Yahoo Shine that gratitude can really be life changing, even through Facebook, but you can get similar results by keeping a journal or finding another way to focus on being grateful.

“The quality of our social relationships is the single most important factor in determining the quality of our lives, hence our happiness,” he says in an email. “And gratitude is the relationship-strengthening emotion. Gratitude tells us that we are supported and sustained by the kindness of others. It takes our attention off of ourselves and places it onto others. This is radical, because by nature we are self-absorbed and self-focused.”

What he’s saying is–gratitude is a BIG antiselfie–because it focuses on others, not just on your selfie.

And that makes a big difference in the way you conduct yourself, relate to others, and how others relate to you. Try it for yourself!

Would you try posting things to be grateful for every day to change your life? Would you trade one selfie for a gratitude antiselfie?

Read more about Scrivens’ Gratitude Project here:


The AntiSelfie Movement Growing: “I want to see more young women holding a fish than holding their camera in front of a bathroom mirror doing a selfie.”~ Sarah Palin


Guess who just joined the anti-sefie movement?

None other than former Alaska governor and defeated Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin.

“I want to see more young women holding a fish than holding their camera in front of a bathroom mirror doing a selfie,” Palin said, according to E! online.

Whatever your politics, Palin does make a point, in fact, a point very similar to ours here at theantiselfie.com.

The point is there are a lot better things to do with our lives, no? Like go outdoors and go fishing. Palin was just saying–do something else, drop your device and do something else than bathroom mirror and selfie gazing!

If you’re not into fishing, how about something that benefits others (the opposite of focusing on self too much)–like being kind to others?

Suggestions: help the homeless, feed the hungry, open doors for others, say kind words instead of bashing people, the list is really endless.

Palin’s anti-selfie quote is related to her forthcoming show on the Sportsman Channel scheduled to debut April.  The show is about, well, the outdoors.

How many selfies do you take and post in a week? Have you asked yourself why you love taking pics of yourself and posting them? 

The Selfie Syndrome: Do You Have It?


A few signs that someone suffers from the  Selfie Syndrome:

  • Consistent “blow-by-blow” status updates. (Getting on train. -5 minutes later– Good God, train’s so late. -10 minutes later- Uggh, train crowded with smelly people. -30 minutes later- Ahh, home sweet home!)
  • Pictures posted are 90% selfies, smile and pose are usually the same, often there is no actual reason to post the picture, they aren’t connected in any way to an event. Selfies far outnumber pictures that were actually taken by other folks.
  • Consistent location/check in updates. As if begging to be stalked. Or showing everyone just how busy your social life is.
  • Mean, snarky posts to make self look superior to others/a situation. (Hey bitch can’t you see I’m in line, get your big as* out of my face.)
  • Too many postings that announce your love to the world.  You and significant other, post coitus. You and significant other, feeding each other ice cream. You and significant other, at the grocery.

There really is nothing inherently wrong about posting these things about yourself and your life. But when these types of postings become consistent, repetitive and frequent, then you know the poster has the syndrome.

The worst type of selfie postings are malicious in motivation. An acquaintance announced, before posting his vacation pics: “Our pics are so cool, these will make everyone look like losers.” Wanting to make others feel inferior–really?

If you think of it, Selfie Syndrome sufferers are probably actually lonely. Sometimes, it feels like they just need someone to talk to, and probably having no one to validate them, seek it from the public at large. They depend on the kindness of “friends” and “followers.” The more likes and retweets, the better.

The antiselfie suggests one possible cure to this syndrome. Perhaps start living a life offline and actually engage people in real life. That way you’re not always seeking approval online, and feeling like you’re all by your lonesome selfie.

What kind of content do you generate on social media? Do you have the Selfie Syndrome? 

More on the Selfie Syndrome here: http://www.bestcomputerscienceschools.net/selfies/

The Selfie Olympics. Whoa.


Theantiselfie is in a state of shock right now.

The Selfie Olympics are upon us, reports the Huffington Post.

See the Selfie Olympians hard at work, perfecting their craft. Feel the thrill of victory, the agony of defeat as these magnificent Selfie Olympians display feats of power and grace that leave one breathless.

Have to admit it, the floating selfie is cool.

But once more, theantiselfie asks–why not use the Herculean effort of creating and posting just one Olympian Selfie to instead post an Antiselfie?

What, you may ask, is an Antiselfie?

It’s a posting on social media of something helpful, useful and kind that might actually help some depressed soul who’s getting even more depressed as he/she scrolls through her Facebook and/or Twitter and/or Instagram and/or Reddit and/or Stumblupon feed, looking at every one else’s  so-called picture-perfect lives.

The antiselfie does not hate selfie posters. Instead it seeks to make the world a kinder, gentler place by encouraging people to sacrifice just one selfie for an antiselfie everyday. 

Disclosure: Theantiselfie still does post selfies now and then, but they’re nowhere nearly as amazing as these:


How many selfies have you posted this week? Do you believe that Facebook and other social media are turning us into narcissists? :) Leave a comment! 

AntiSelfie Celebrities: J-Law and Other Famous Kind People


Enough of those paparazzi-punching celebs. Buzzfeed.com and ABC’s Jimmy Kimmel Live comes out with a list of eleven of the nicest celebrities in Hollywood. Their kind acts truly make them A-listers! A stands for AntiSelfie Ambassador of Kindness :)

1. Jennifer Lawrence –  J-Law lived up to her down-to-earth reputation when she watched after a woman who fell unconscious in Santa Monica until paramedics arrived

2. Keanu Reeves – His kindness is apparently well-known. A video shows him giving his seat on the subway to an elderly lady.

3. Mila Kunis – She agreed to accompany non-celebrity Sgt. Scott Moore, a veteran from the war in Afghanistan, to the Marine Corps Ball in Greeneville, N.C., 2011.

4. Ryan Gosling – America’s sexiest man (by popular vote) actually bothered to break up a fight in New York City before it got too out of hand–instead of just walking past it.

5. Tom Hanks – Well-known for being an antiselfie kind of guy to fans. Recently, Hanks posed for really funny pics with a fan in a pizza place.

6. Ellen DeGeneres – DeGeneres teamed up with Shutterfly.com to provide a down on their luck couple expecting a child and facing a sudden rent increase, new decor for the baby and $25,000 in aid!

7. Steve Buscemi – Buscemi, a former firefighter before committing to his acting career, he returned to his old company after 9/11 just to volunteer and help out at Ground Zero.

8. Lady Gaga – Gaga’s tour pre-show will feature the “Born Brave Bus” that will provide free “…access to professional private or group chats about mental health, depression, bullying, school & friends.”
9. Dave Chapelle –  Dave invited members of his studio audience to play basketball and bought everyone fruit smoothies plus free tickets to his show the following night.
10. George Takei – The original Sulu arrived two hours early for a scheduled press conference just to sign the doll of a young fan who was too sick to stick around.
11. Allison Brie – Brie, also known for being kind and down-to-earth, obliged a fan who asked for a kiss because it was his birthday.
theantiselfie says Jimmy Kimmel should be on the list.
We’ve noted Kimmel’s attempts on his show to wake up fans who tweet insanely cruel and mean messages to celebrities, forgetting that the famous have feelings too!
For this, Kimmel is definitely an A-lister! A stands for AntiSelfie Ambassador of Kindness!
Do you know of other celebrities who are antiselfies? Do these celebrities inspire you to be kinder in everyday life? Tell us your thoughts, leave a comment!