Tag Archives: selfie

#SELFIE the song: A snapshot or satire?

Well, of course a song about selfies has gone viral.

We at the antiselfie are digging the beat (sampled from Korean pop superstar Psy, apparently) but it looks like not everyone is loving the song’s message.

Which is simply, let me take a selfie because it’s all about me.

Some select juicy comments from youtube:

I feel like people are taking this song at face value when it really is just making fun of all the ignorant people out there who abuse social media and upload selfies of themselves all the time. To those people, I say, please stop and let’s all cleanse the gene pool.”

“How is this even a song?”

“Perfect example why I hate this generation .”

“LOOK HERE! HE HATES THIS GENERATION! LOOK! See? Nobody cares.”

“You do realize this song is a form of satire right? Though people act like this anyway.”

“2014….Chicks are actually like this. Dudes too. Mankind is doomed.”

“This song is not here to make a big hit or win any music awards. It’s just to bring amusement to us lol”

“I admit that the beat is catchy and all. But this song is honestly terrible. it just shows how airheaded and shallow people of this generation are. Couldn’t they make a song about world hunger, or peace, or something actually relevant? no, they made a song about taking selfies. Is this really what music has come to? The future is indeed bright.”

“It’s supposed to be a joke. It isn’t serious. The way you think, I’m guessing you don’t have much fun.”

“What has the world come to?!?”

“I would watch the entire video but first……LET ME TAKE A SELFIE :)”

The antiselfie says, yeah, me too. Let me take a selfie. Once in a while. Not too much though.

Because it looks like a lot of people do realize that constant selfie-taking and posting is just plain annoying.

What about you? Do you find this song funny or annoying? Why?

Selfie addiction drives teen-ager close to suicide: “It can happen to anyone.”~Danny Bowman

Think that selfie addiction is harmless? Think again.

Nineteen-year-old Danny Bowman took about 200 selfies of himself a day to capture the perfect shot. Thinking he was failing to look good enough to post online, he almost killed himself.

Bowman, a 19-year-old Englishman had been diagnosed with body dysmorphic disorder and obsessive compulsive disorder, reported the Mirror News.

“Danny’s case is particularly extreme,” said psychiatrist Dr. David Veale, whose clinic helped treat the teenager.

“But this is a serious problem. It’s not a vanity issue. It’s a mental health one which has an extremely high suicide rate.”

Just like crack, alcohol, porn, sex, food, selfie-taking combined with social media can make for a mind-distorting state.

In Bowman’s case, selfie-taking and social media-posting became the outlet for his obsessive compulsive behavior.

“With modern technology, it can actually be quite severe,” Bowman says in the video. “This kind of thing can happen to anyone.”

Have you ever caught yourself in the grip of any behavior that makes you feel addicted to something: pot, alcohol, porn, sex, food, selfies? How does it feel? Do you feel the almost uncontrollable desire?

Try riding out that feeling of being “driven” to satisfy the craving. Instead of acting to trigger the addiction (i.e. taking a selfie, walking to the fridge, going online, the liquor store, the pot dealer, buying cigarettes), just sit still and breathe for about five minutes, and focus on breath. This method can allow compulsion to subside.

Mindfulness meditation is just one of many tools to get over an addiction. Consult a professional.

More coverage on Bowman:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/03/25/selfie-addiction-mental-illness_n_5022090.html?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000063

More on addictive behavior:
“To know yourself is to forget yourself, and he didn’t mean take another selfie.”

http://theantiselfie.wordpress.com/wp-admin/post.php?post=778&action=edit

“To know yourself is to forget yourself.” ~ Dogen (And he didn’t mean take another selfie)

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You know them. They’re the ones who love taking pictures of themselves, and posting them online–relentlessly. And we know they’re counting those likes and really lapping up those comments.

It’s those likes, hearts and comments that most selfie addicts live for. Who in this world doesn’t need external validation? However, the question really is: how much reliance on external validation is too much?

Incessant selfie posting is just as delusional as, say, too much drinking. It’s getting drunk on attention and praise.

What’s wrong with that?

In the same way that intoxication is often a way to escape confronting issues, posting those selfies way too often could be a means of avoiding something.

But you’ll never get to know what exactly those issues are if you keep running to and hiding in the world of alcohol, drugs, hookups, and yes, excessive selfies, to make you feel good.

Is there something in your real life that’s not quite impressive or accomplished as you wish it could be? Are you not getting sufficient praise and admiration in areas that are not related to your looks? Or are you actually getting praised only for your looks? What’s really causing you pain?

Selfie addiction is not a way of knowing yourself. Ironically, it’s a way of hiding from yourself.

Whatever the reason, before you snap that next selfie, and spend a great amount of time perfecting it, try to stop and think–what am I really getting out of this? Why do I need all that validation so often? What need am I really trying to fill here?

This honest self-examination is the beginning of real self-love. Real self-love is when you truly start to get to honestly know yourself , and treat yourself with kindness, respect and compassion.

Zen master Dogen once said: “To know yourself is to forget yourself.”

Once you stop running away from your pain, only then can you begin to know yourself.

Once you begin knowing yourself and the things that hurt you, then you can start the process of healing.

Once you start healing, then you can start learning how to truly love yourself.

Once you’ve learned to love and care for yourself,  only then can you really forget yourself–and start sharing that love you’re learning and practicing, with others.

This process takes incredible self-awareness and sensitivity; many are able to access this through meditation.

What behavior do you overindulge in incessantly, to the point of mindless compulsion? Eating, drinking, smoking, selfie-taking, sex? Next time, stop and examine the feelings that arise right before you engage in addictive behavior. Try and identify it. Then try and see if you can live with that feeling (pain, sadness, boredom). Instead of blunting it–try and address it and find the root cause. This process will help bring about increased self-knowledge, the start of genuine self-love.

12 Things That Allow Happiness To Grow

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“Limit the time you spend on the internet.” ~ Dr. Andrew Weil

Oh happiness. We spend so much time wishing for it, planning for it, looking for it at work, in money, on the internet, in the latest phone, purse, car;  in other people. The pursuit of it is endless.

But trying to capture happiness is like trying to capture sunlight and putting it in your pocket for you to keep forever and ever. It ain’t gonna happen.

Happiness is something that arises, when you’re not focusing so hard on trying to be happy. In his book “Spontaneous Happiness,” natural health and wellness expert Dr. Andrew Weil says we can create the right conditions in our lives to allow happiness to arise naturally.

A few steps that allow happiness to arise:

1. Lower your expectations

2. Limit commitments to those you know you will enjoy

3. Stick to a reasonable budget

4. Avoid excessive eating and drinking

5. Get at least seven hours of sleep every night to overcome fatigue and restore energy

6. Keep up daily aerobic exercise, take long walks outdoors when the weather permits

7. Arrange your workspace so you’re exposed to a wndow and get daylight during work hours

8. Consider supplementing your diet with 1,000-2,000 IU of Vitamin D3.

9. Practice forgiveness to calm your spirit

10. Cultivate an attitude of gratitude

12. Limit the time you spend on the Internet.

Everything on this list seems sensible, except for the part about limiting internet time, right?

Have you ever experienced being online for hours, on Facebook or whatever social media, and just surfing? Have you ever experienced ignoring actual people in your real life in front of you because you’re online, maybe busy having a virtual conversation?

These are examples of how the internet can suck the joy out of your life—by distracting you so much that you actually start failing to have a life.

Are you living a life that encourages happiness to arise? Have you noticed how good health is related to happiness? Have you noticed the difference in how you feel, when you get regular exposure to daylight and fresh air? Check how you feel when you think about things you’re grateful for. Try and notice how you feel after extended internet use. Have you considered cutting down your time online?

More on Dr. Andrew Weil and spontaneous happiness:

http://www.yogajournal.com/health/2643

“No matter where you come from or how much money your family has…you can succeed in college.” ~ First Lady Michelle Obama

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This is a selfie, seen on Twitter, that comes with a good purpose. Inspiring others through words and/or pictures online is a good thing.

First Lady Michelle Obama has, no doubt, great selfie-taking experience, as a mom to two young ladies, who, more likely than not, she is preparing for college.

The antiselfie is noting a trend among millennial postings online today: there seems to be a big hopeless feeling about getting a college education.

More and more, we see millennial-targeted articles like “Why college is a waste of time,” “Why what you learn at college won’t be needed in the real world,” which appear to be written by a bunch of unhappy college graduates (or dropouts) unable to find the best-ever job in the entire universe.

For some reason, a lot of twentysomethings believe that they’re automatically entitled to the very, very best, right away, all the time.

That’s probably a false belief. But so is talking about education as an unnecessary thing.

Mrs. Obama’s message is a great reminder on the value of higher education. It’s also a great way to use social media.

Have you posted a selfie/status update/meme lately that encourages self-improvement?

“If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.” ~ Jack Kornfield

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We here at the antiselfie advocate kindness towards others to replace the narcissism behind the selfie culture on social media.

But we’d like to pause and remind you:

Kindness to others must begin with kindness to self.

The antiselfie has learned, and continues to learn, this lesson in the hardest ways possible.

We all want to be kind to others. But what do we do when others do not reciprocate, or worse, abuse our kindness?

Then we retreat, and start showing ourselves kindness through practicing self-respect.

Self-respect means honoring pain, boundaries and limits, and listening to the internal or external “ouch” and not dismissing it. To do so is to show kindness to yourself. Your self is sending you a message to care for yourself. Listen to it.

One good question to ask yourself to determine if someone is abusing you, or showing you unacceptable behavior : “Would I allow anyone to treat my child (or any child) that way?”

If the answer is no, then the offending behavior should not be allowed to continue. This may mean leaving a situation or person, reporting the situation or person to authorities, seeking help from trusted people to deal with the abusive person or situation.

Then do something to actively soothe yourself. Take a walk in nature. Soak in the tub. Cook your favorite healthy meal. Do yoga. Talk to a trusted, kind person.

Anything that sends yourself the message that “You are loved. You deserve kindness , care and gentleness. Your well-being is important.”

Like all practices, kindness starts with yourself.

Not knowing to care for yourself, you will be unable to care for others.

Not knowing how to honor your own boundaries, others will end up abusing you.

Not knowing to show compassion for yourself when you’re in pain, you will be unable to show genuine compassion for others, and unable to recognize their pain.

When you show yourself kindness and are able to care for and respect yourself, the ability to be kind, caring and respectful to others arises naturally.

Kindness does not mean being a doormat.

In what ways do you care for yourself? In what ways do you encourage your well-being? Do you hear, and listen, when that small voice inside you sends you a message of pain? 

Here are other good resources on self-compassion:

http://www.becomingwhoyouare.net/2014/01/five-foundations-self-kindness/

http://selfcompassion.org/

Pope Francis On How To Use The Internet

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Yes, that’s the head of the Catholic church posing for a selfie with a fan. It’s a great picture that just shows how in touch this Pope is with people.

The news headlines were full of Pope Francis’ blessing bestowed upon the internet, calling it a “gift of God.”

But let’s not forget the rest of his statement. Pope Francis had, in effect, issued guidelines on good Intenet usage and online behavior!

“The desire for digital connectivity can have the effect of isolating us from our neighbors, from those closest to us.”

Translation: Get your face off your smartphone and talk to real people, will you?

He called for communications in the digital era to be like “a balm which relieves pain and a fine wine which gladdens hearts.”

Translation: Quit trolling, trolls! Haters, stop hating! More antiselfies please! (Antiselfies – content that promote kindness, gratitude, compassion and universal values that comfort others, opposite of self-obsession and narcissism, best demonstrated by relentless selfie-taking and posting.)

“May the light we bring to others not be the result of cosmetics or special effects, but rather of our being loving and merciful neighbors to those wounded and left on the side of the road.”

Translation: Enough of this junky, dime-a-dozen content showing photoshopped worldly materialism. Let’s use the internet to help those who need help, like the weak and vulnerable people of society.

Have you checked your postings today? Are you using this “gift from God” in a way that benefits others?

Read more about Pope Francis’s comments on the internet:

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/pope-francis-internet-is-a-gift-from-god/

Dove’s Short Film “Selfie” : Mixed Feelings because “Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart.” ~ Kahlil Gibran

So Dove’s Real Beauty Campaign came out with a short film called “Selfie.” It’s gone viral.

It’s about young women and their mothers taking selfies and basically admiring their selfies. But really, it’s about accepting your own brand of unretouched beauty, instead of the standards of beauty that we are bombarded with, by media’s airbrushed images.

The antiselfie recognizes that there is merit in this. Of course.

But what if…the campaign for real beauty finally tackles the kind of beauty that no beauty bar, not even my favorite Dove white unscented for sensitive skin, can ever, ever touch?

Let’s not kid ourselves. This campaign for real beauty is still, at end of the day, a Dove commercial. And like a lot of commercials, it’s a kind of brainwash, that’s been set on the delicate cycle.

How about we get really revolutionary and talk about real beauty, the kind Kahlil Gibran speaks of? The kind of beauty that’s not attached to the possibility of brand loyalty and customers for life, and needs no marketing dollars to produce?

“Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart.” ~ Kahlil Gibran

Some of the most beautiful people I know attract a lot of friends and followers of all genders and sexual orientation, of different political persuasions.

Many of them wear no makeup, are bald or have white hair, have wrinkled skin, and are past 60.

Many of them are monks, nuns, priests, or the types who’ve outgrown traditional models of beauty.

Their beauty comes from being really, really deep down kind. No selfies or Dove soap needed.

How about launching a campaign for THAT kind of REAL beauty?

Daily Gratitude on Facebook Changes Life: “It forced me to look on the bright side of life, even on crappy days.” ~ Lynne Scrivens

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The antiselfie is enamored of this woman’s story. It shows the power of gratitude and social media.

Lynne Scrivens, an Australian TV news producer, embarked on a daily gratitude post on Facebook, after seeing one of her friends doing it.

Instinctively, Scrivens knew being deliberately grateful every day would change her life.

“I knew the grateful project would help me get back on track. I just had a feeling.” Issues the 38-year-old wanted to tackle included drinking “too much, too often, alone,” having “dark, deep, depressing thoughts,” her “sparse” love life, and lack of exercise, she writes.

After a year of seeing and announcing at least one good thing in her life every single day on Facebook, Scrivens’ life did in fact change for the better.

She ended up chucking a job that was no longer fulfilling, and moved from Sydney to Melbourne, where she always wanted to live. Her struggle with alcohol brought her to a place of sobriety and healthy moderation. She started exercising and met a man who she eventually announced on Facebook was a “keeper.” Nice!

The antiselfie loves the fact that Scrivens was inspired by a Facebook friend to do this, and that she herself decided to copy that behavior and in turn, is inspiring others (the antiselfie included!) to follow in their footsteps and be grateful every day!

Shortly after reading about Scrivens, the antiselfie began posting and tweeting #grateful daily–and yes–has noticed changes!

In the few days of this daily dose of deliberate thankfulness online, the antiselfie started noticing that it was the recipient of more random unsolicited blessings, just small things–i.e., free meals from friends, random presents from people, people going out of their way to be nice and helpful to the antiselfie in various ways! Wow! And that’s just in less than a week!

Robert Emmons, a University of California, Davis psychology professor and gratitude expert and author (“Gratitude Works!”) tells Yahoo Shine that gratitude can really be life changing, even through Facebook, but you can get similar results by keeping a journal or finding another way to focus on being grateful.

“The quality of our social relationships is the single most important factor in determining the quality of our lives, hence our happiness,” he says in an email. “And gratitude is the relationship-strengthening emotion. Gratitude tells us that we are supported and sustained by the kindness of others. It takes our attention off of ourselves and places it onto others. This is radical, because by nature we are self-absorbed and self-focused.”

What he’s saying is–gratitude is a BIG antiselfie–because it focuses on others, not just on your selfie.

And that makes a big difference in the way you conduct yourself, relate to others, and how others relate to you. Try it for yourself!

Would you try posting things to be grateful for every day to change your life? Would you trade one selfie for a gratitude antiselfie?

Read more about Scrivens’ Gratitude Project here:

http://shine.yahoo.com/healthy-living/how-a-year-of–grateful–facebook-posts-changed-this-woman-s-life-190520260.html

Alarming Trend: Self-Harming Selfies on the Rise

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A report says more and more young people in the U.K. are posting disturbing pictures on Instagram or sending them via Snapchat that show them hurting themselves.

The report says young people post the self-harming selfies because they feel they have “no one else to turn to.” Commenting on these selfies may produce feelings of validation and encouragement of the behavior.

A guest in a British television show, who has been cutting herself for 11 years, explains that she does this to “shock” herself out of feeling low, and as a form of “release.”

The gruesome selfies can elicit competitiveness among other self-harmers who view them. They may try and outdo the cutting, said mental health experts.

Others may bully or troll the self-harmers, which in turn may create even more motivation for self-harming.

Self-harming is violence. It is just as bad as committing violence on others. Kindness MUST start with one’s self.

The antiselfie is shocked and saddened by this trend. It MUST stop.

If you are a self-harmer, please seek help from people you trust. This is not healthy for you.

If you see a self-harming selfie, please do not bully, shame, encourage or copy the person who posted it. If you know the person who posted a self-harming selfie, please help them. Suggested options would be: contacting the school counselor and asking for advice on how to deal with it, and how to help the self-harmer. 

More on this disturbing story here:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2544055/The-disturbing-rise-SELF-HARM-selfies-Teenagers-posting-gruesome-images-online-no-one-turn-to.html